The experiment that I am going to tell you is real and happened in the summer of 2018.
I share an office with other entrepreneurs and in July Fran arrived, owner of an online store based on both dropshipping as in direct sale.
I walked over to his computer and saw that it was a showroom mobile phone at a very competitive price. He wanted to sell it on eBay through his business account.
The product sheet was written with a standard text copied from the original website of the brand (Samsung), which in turn had literally translated the text from English, so it was full of repetitions and was not very emotional in Spanish.
Here you can read the first paragraph of selling Fran’s phone on eBay:
What your phone can do.
We are completely changing the way we share experiences and memories. And this is because we have completely changed the limits of your phone. And this has only just begun.
We have designed Galaxy S7 and S7 edge by unleashing our imaginations. The result is unmatched usability, packed with advanced features with a blatantly modern look. Smartphones with a really attractive appearance and very easy to use.
Below were paragraphs for each of the features, but the benefits and advantages of purchasing it were unclear. In addition, it did not have a powerful headline or call to action.
I told him I would help him on one condition: I would write the sales text from his phone if it would allow me to monitor the sale and then share the results. He agreed, I sat down to write the paragraph you’re going to read now, and we uploaded the text to eBay together.
Unique opportunity! Galaxy S7 exposure at 25% discount.
The Galaxy S7 is a high-end smartphone, elegant design and waterproof, with one of the best cameras on the market. Looking for speed and power? You will notice the difference thanks to the Octacore CPU and its 4GB of RAM.
Samsung again incorporates the microSD card slot so you can include up to 200GB of memory. At last you can save as many photos, videos and applications as you want.
Although it was a text written in a short time frame, I knew it would work. What I did not expect is that 20 minutes later Fran said from her site: “Rosa, it’s already sold!”.
As he had billed 200,000 euros in 2017 through eBay, he knew very well the sales times of a product on that page. He told me that in his experience, he had never sold such a fast high-end phone.
But what if it was a coincidence? We agreed that it would be best to continue with the experiment and upload another similar product, adapting the product sheet again.
Minutes after uploading it, it was sold too, and Fran was completely convinced of the power of copywriting.
Why did they sell out so quickly if normally many hours or even days passed? The image and the price were the same as the rest of the phones that Fran sold, but I wrote the new text thinking about 3 factors:
- The impulsiveness of her client linked to the offer.
- The balance between features, advantages and benefits.
- The principles of neuro-sales applied to the text.
- If you tell a reader that your product is a unique opportunity or a limited offer you are using the scarcity as a basis for purchase.
Before writing the text I asked Fran a question:
Why would YOU buy this mobile phone?
Their answers were:
- Because it is like new and it only comes from exhibition.
- It costs much less than the same model in store.
- It makes some amazing photos for the price.
So why wasn’t any of that showing up in the first few sales paragraphs? Not only do we have to learn to communicate the strengths of our product, but we also have to know when to do so.
Sometimes we are so obsessed with selling that we don’t stop to analyze the basic whys of buying.
Before going on vacation, Fran came over to thank me, not only for helping her sell more, but for opening a huge door to neurocopywriting, just as I hope to be doing with you.